If I was going to do a stand up comedy routine.... Part 2

...it might go something like this

(For Part 1 of this sketch - click here)

Ok... so where was I...oh yeah, talking about myself.  Ha!

"So I moved to Key West.  I bought myself an atocha coin (point to necklace) "Key West dog tags they call them eh!"" *Laugh*

Actually, I really shouldn't, with my Irish accent. talk about gold coins.  *Laugh*
Apparently when I talk about gold coins.....I sound a bit like a leprachaun

Aahahahahhahaahha

No seriously!  So I bought the coin and was telling my friend all about it,"it's a grade 4, but a really good one, almost grade 3, isn't it it's mad to think it was on the bottom of the ocean for 400 years yadda yadda yadda"

Well at least that is what I thought I was saying...

What he heard was something like:
*Stare dreamily into the distance*
Put on Major Irish Accent, speak in romantic/dreamy/Irishy acccent
"Ah yes, this gold coin here, lost in the mist of time to the bottom of the ocean until the brave and strong Mel Fisher dove down just like Brittany Spears boyfriend in Oops I did it again, and brought to the surface...
(OK SO I NEED TO DO SOME MAJOR WORK HERE TO GET THIS RIGHT/EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO SAY -[essentially a big load of Irish bullshit] BUT YOU GET THE DRIFT RIGHT??)


And then. Appaaaaaarently, or at least he says so, I jumped on to the table in Half Shell and did a little jig
*Act out a little bit of a jig or something with arms and legs*

*Laugh*

"Right folks! On that note! It's time for me to depart!  Thanks for listening to my wafflings! Good night!"
*Wave*
Get off the stage faaaaaaaasst




Edit.
So!  I did it!  To read my blog post about it click here

If I was going to do a stand up comedy routine.... Part 1

...it might go something like this:

Hey, hi, how's it going. So, I think you can hear by my accent that I'm Irish. So! [holds up drink] clearly I'm drunk.  [Pause]
*Laugh* Ah no [small pause] that's not because I'm Irish...that's because I live in Key West *laugh, slash smile*

[Pause] 

So yeah, first time up here, not really sure how this goes.  Suppose I should introduce myself, tell you a little bit about myself.

My name is Amy. I'm Irish.  I told you that already I guess. [pause] Em.  Gonna blame that one on the drink *wink, tip head to drink*
I'm a twin. Yeah, so I have an identical twin sister back home in Ireland. Like reeeeally identical.  There's literally [point to myself]  two of me walking around this planet.
[small pause] We're so identical that I can't walk down her street holding my boyfriend's hand because her neighbours think the is having an affair on her husband.

[pause]

We really are alike.  Like I'm not kidding you.  Like a couple of years ago, we got our DNA tested, and it showed that we had 99.9999999999% identical DNA.  And when we tell people that, they are all like "omg, but you two are so alike I'm surprised it's not 100% identical"
[sarcastic voice] Well no Karen, we don't have 100% the same DNA, because then we'd be clones wouldn't we, not twins [shake head, take sip of drink, pause, laugh]

So when we were born.  ...God. We were really ugly babies.  [eeeugh, shake head, make eek/grimace face].  No, like seriously, we were ugly!  ...It's my mom I feel bad for.  Like imagine going through a really tough twin pregnancy and then you get two little thing things with big eyes, bald heads, scrawny little legs looking like two little aliens...or owls.  [Laugh, shake head, shudder, laugh more]

ACT OUT:
Like there's my mam, pushing this big massive pram; - you know those 1970's prams - like something out of the exorcist movie.  And she's only delighted with herself and her new twin babies.  And she meets someone she knows....
"Oh Mrs Bebbington! You had your bab.… *Act out Sticking your Head into a Pram*
"AAAaaaaagh" *shriek out loud and jump back from the pram*

TBC

Work in Progress!
(For Part 2 of this click here)

Feedback welcome wanted.  Comment below please!

Edit.
So! I did it!  To read all about it, click here
https://keywestmonkey.blogspot.com/2019/12/i-stood-up-and-did-somewhat-comedy.htm

Creativity [ˌkrēāˈtivədē] NOUN the use of the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work.

Those of you who have followed (or probably more likely; those who have occasionally dipped into) my original "Amydublinia" blog are probably wondering why in hell I have started a second blog, and what in hell am I going to write about.  Good questions my friends!  Good questions indeed.

Truth be told, at this point in time, I probably don't have the answer to those questions... I just know that for a while now I have been trying to think different/write more creatively/just BE more free in my expression [style and subject].

Some feedback (criticism??) I have received about my other blog is that I "write very factually". You know, while that is not a bad thing per say, after all I've always said that is what I do; "I chronicle, I document, I record", being completely honest with myself I guess there has always been a small part of me that aspires to do more.

What is that "more"??!! Again, at this point, I don't have that answer.  But I am interested and excited, to find out what will happen.  To give it a shot and see what I can do - if anything at all?

I think I will struggle. In fact, I know I will.  Being completely open and free is not something that comes natural to me.  Although I am from Ireland; the land of Saints and Scholars, an island with an incredible literary history, the producer of a mind boggling number of authors, playwrights, songwriters and poets; conversely we are a people who are afraid of failure, afraid of appearing too big for our boots (biggest crime ever in Ireland lol!), afraid of putting ourselves out there, afraid of what people will say.

Ah heck who cares?!  Maybe it will be shite. Maybe it will be pure shite. Maybe I won't even be able to produce anything at all.  Well so be it.

Let it stand as a record, I tried.

So, let's see what happens in this little space on the internets!  Want to come along for the ride?  Want to see what evolves from this little experiment?

Let the catharsis begin.